R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
