I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ketchup is God's man juice
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize