Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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