i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just sent this text using only my big toe
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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