we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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