Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize