Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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