you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
