I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
