god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
