I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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