Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
