Kiss
Puke
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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