So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The Olympian is in my bed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
