I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
