I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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