I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he shaved USA in his pubs
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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