Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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