Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
