Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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