And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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