So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
