2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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