Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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