no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
