Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
