And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
