I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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