I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
