How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
