she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
