Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
