I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize