he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize