he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
