Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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