Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize