Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
