You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
