I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize