I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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