I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize