Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
