This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
