i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
where am i from again
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Randomize
