Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
