I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
