So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
