garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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