Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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