Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
