Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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