hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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