i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
