the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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