Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
