this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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