your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
