I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
