I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
