I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
