I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
