Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize