he wants to bone in the snuggie
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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