But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
