is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Brb crying the tears of my youth
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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