I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
