I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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